Dear Zombies & Dogs,
How do you sleep at night? What’s wrong with you? Why are you such a monster?!? I hope your mutant land shark eats you when you sleep! God bless you.
A disgruntled Christian Foamer
You are going to Hell
Dear Disgruntled Christian Foamer,
First off, I want to thank you for being concerned about my sleeping, but I can assure you that I sleep really well.
I hate to break it to you but there is nothing wrong with me- unless you somehow know about my current sunburn? Although, I am worried this cut on my foot but I’m sure with some TLC it will be fine in a few days.
Now, I’m only a monster one night out of the year- yep! You guessed it- Halloween! Last year I was a witch so I’m not sure if I will go the monster route this year. Do you have any suggestions?
Currently my “mutant land shark” is sorting through his kibble and bits. He really is a picky eater and I’m 100% sure I’m not on his desired list of meals.
God blesses us all in one way shape or form, I mean, I bet you are “gifted” in some fashion. I hear you can fill your local bar with some greeeeeat techno from like… 1999.
Thanks for writing!
Zombies & Dogs
From what I hear- you can be a total Douchbag and a born again Christian at the same time- so I think I’ll be fine.